loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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