Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
