are you still at the devil's house?
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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