Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
