he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Randomize
