I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
