Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
