I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I love you. Go after that dick
as a side note pls kill me
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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