I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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