are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
