I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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