It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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