Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
my poor anus
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
