We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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