i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
