i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
