i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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