So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Randomize
