Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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