So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Randomize
