Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
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