new low.... made out with someone while peeing
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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