why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize
