i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
