The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
