OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Sext me about skeletons
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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