I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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