I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
