my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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