So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
