Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
