I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
