i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
