david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
