On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
