So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
