i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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