I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize