So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
