So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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