I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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