So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
