I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
