is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
So vagazzling was a success
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
