Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
