I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
