Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
