I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
