Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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