Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
